Can the Iceland Volcano Truly Be Trusted?

It’s been hard to miss the news of the eruption of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano (Seriously? A Wikipedia entry already? Awesome.) in Iceland.  It seems like every news website has something about it.  The images on the internet are incredible — they’re beautiful and horrifying all at the same time.

Iceland is not the only country affected by the eruption, but the entire planet has felt the effects.  Air traffic through Europe has virtually been halted and would-be travelers have been advised to check the status of their flights.  I’m one of these would-be travelers.

On Tuesday, I’m supposed to fly to London via the world’s busiest airport and at this point I have no idea if my flight is going or not.  This is a real inconvenience to me.  The nerve of Iceland to have a volcano erupt just when I’m about to embark on a trip!  Some would say they hate Iceland.  Me, I feel a bit different.

I have a theory.  What if this wasn’t a natural event at all?  What if this was in actuality a grand scheme by a worldwide criminal organization — a terrorist group, if you will — that had secretly been building a subterranean lair that had access to the Earth’s core.  And what if that terrorist group did some sort of rejigging of the tectonic plates while sending explosives into the core that has how triggered this volcanic eruption!  The aim being, of course, to disrupt air travel the likes of which we haven’t seen since 9/11.  The ash from the volcano could easily bring a plane down and me with it. Truly a horrifying scenario.

If Dick Cheney was still the Vice President of the U.S.A., I have no doubt in my mind that he would have used his super-secret personal intelligence guys to make the link and then track these guys down… personally.  The volcano itself would have to have been an accomplice and have been branded a threat to national security.  Then the U.S. Army would have to go in, subdue the volcano, get it to stop erupting and restore the world order. Mission accomplished.

Yup, it’s worth thinking about.  That’s what I’ll be pondering as I check my flight status every day until I leave.